/NOVEMBER//NOVEMBRE
/11/12/03
final journal as YOU know it.
The new journal is complete. The website is complete! Er, well there's a minor thing that needs to get fixed but other than that it's all good. So I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all the people who made a difference in my life: my management, my coach, A&R, the people over at the record label, the people over at publication, the little people I had to step on, my mum, all the fans, and you... yadda yadda blah blah adda yadda...
Final Random Things:
• The website will be activated next week. Lift Pages however will not be active due to the ongoing litigations. Be nice to my new business peers Jess and Ai, as they will both be active and supportive in the ongoing metamorphasis that is projectstation.org. Ai will be in charge of regulating the information flow you get, while Jess will be an integral part of the site's infastructure. So remember to be nice to them.
This Sunday I will spend the first of three sessions at Phat Lab Studios laying down the final vocals and some bass lines for the album. I'm finally 100% healthy, and my chords feel strong so hopefully everything will run smoothly.
Before the 1st single from the album is unveiled, I will be sifting through the catalogue with Ai to see if it's possible to release a preview track for you all. If we do, that will be available hopefully along with the launch of the site. Ai likes 'Sanm Mateo', but I like 'Lost Cause' (neither of which will be singles for certain). Suppose you'll just have to wait.
Oh and my little Jordon is on one of the YAHOO! ads! Yikes I'm proud of her (again...zzzz zzzzzzzz)
Finally, thanks to all of you who really do keep up with this journal. I know there's been a lack of updates recently but I've been hard at work getting things finished. I wanted to have everything finished by the end of the year and it looks like I'm going to make the deadline. Take care, Godspeed, and uh.. I'll be seeing you in a couple of days with a new wardrobe :)
/02/12/03
this may be the last entry of the current journal. i've already posted an entry to the new journal, but it's not up and running yet. don't worry, it's nothing that of incredible importance. you aren't missing anything. so i'll take the time to update you on some of interest items:
one of the PSO partners is still hard at work on some Flash goodies. when the site initially opens, there won't be any flash---yet :( but -- there will be a couple of mp3s up over at ashbury music that you will be able to download for free. tentatively, the first singe from Life in the Heights and another track. for you nostaglic souls there may even be a third and fourth mp3 up of a couple of collaborative works. stay tuned...
the other PSO person will be maintaining a seperate news blog for the site. it's probably going to be...like a mini fan club. i'm still not entirely sure what she's going to do with it, although she did doctor the back album photo to a degree and i was quite impressed.
life in the heights is scheduled for a february release. dunno what's going to happen in terms of a record release party. we'll have to see. i don't even have a final track listing yet. will know more about that later this month.
the big PSO party collaboration album, urban verses will begin official production this month. the cuban pete and klockwork have already started making tracks. i'm still not sure how many tracks i'm going to produce for other artists. perhaps we'll create a grab bag of names. i got a couple of requests but...i have too much to do already. once all the guest names are confirmed, they'll be posted in the news blog.
the book everybody hates donica pine will go to an editor by the end of this month. there is some ongoing work...and, what sounds like a better vacation next this year? italy? or japan? if i go to italia, it will be a solo trip. if i go to japan, it will be with friends. haven't decided. but i do have some travel money to burn.
well after all of this...i just decided that i'll post one final journal here before swapping the links. thanks to everyone for being patient.
/29/11/03
these days have been rather heavy. i'm starting to feel the way i did when i was eighteen. if i had a better way to articulate the specifics of this mood i'd tell you. it's just that sometimes things are just not in place. it's like the one time when you had to clean your room, and it was such a mess that you didn't even know where to begin. i fear that on some levels i may be losing a bit of my integrity. i should dial up someone and see if they have answers. of course, it would have to be answers and not advice, because anyone can sling out rubbish advice. whereas i should've been spending the weekend reassessing certain situations i spent it pissing myself until i blacked out. quite fun! i tell you. have you ever tried to send someone a message over the computer while you were absolutely out of it? my oh my, it's a good thing that i DIDN'T drive! i would've been the monster who killed the old homeless man riding his bike in the city at 2 am.
the website will be up this coming week. everyone get your cameras ready. i was thinking about throwing one of those posh internet opening parties the night i do it...but then i remembered that here in northern california the dot-com boom exploded, crashing down into the ground harder than columbia.
i tried to do this 5 minutes worth of assessing (which i strongly recommend you NOT to do, it doesn't work, no...really) and i came to the conclusion that my ability to forgive people is better than i thought. actually, as hard of a grudge holder as i am, i forgive people a lot easier than i forgive myself. crazy...i'm starting to sound like a cliché. someone shoot me before i get on a roll. at least the hangover is gone.
/26/11/03
i've been spending much of this past week in the quiet solidarity of my own space. there's a song i want to rewrite lyrics for, 'drag', but i'm lacking the motivation. the past several mornings i've awkened from bed, rolled out onto the floor and sat facing the television under warm blankets, not quite entertained by the random channels i flip through. occasionally i glance over to the computer monitor to see if there's any new mail, but it's typically slow this time of year. usually, it is a yearly tradition that i get asked the same question around thanksgiving, as to why i don't celebrate thanksgiving. then i respond in those typical traditional answers that, i don't really have family 'round to celebrate with, and there's nothing fun in the prospect of preparing a meal for one's self. a few friends and some colleagues then invite me to share in their family's tradition under their roofs, but i'm not keen to accepting invitations that are extended out of pity. plus, i did this once, and i felt a bit awkward spending a holiday with a family that i'd never met before. so beyond the turkeys that i don't eat (because i don't eat turkey) and the time of sitting around the table holding hands and sharing prayers (because a lot of people don't do that anymore) i wonder then if the only thing left for me to do is sit in an recite all the things that i'm grateful for. but people are thankful for some shitty things, and other people say all the cliché things like being thankful for family, their health, having a job that pays the bills, etc. etc. etc...
unfortunately i'm not thankful for any of that tripe. the only thing that i'm thankful for come the final thursday in november is that the cowboys get to play some other NFL team and i can watch football on a day that's not sunday or monday. thus, three hours of the day are consumed and i don't have to leave it to drag like other days in the week. i will admit that it probably is a bit sad that i won't get to see any loved ones (whomever they might be) tomorrow but it works out at least for them if they get to eat. i'll let you know how it works out over the weekend. oh, and, the new journal will be around right about then. i'm thankful that i got it to work.
/24/11/03
here's progress ... i went grocery shopping for the first time in...6 months. i bought three items: oatmeal, apples juice, and lactose free milk. now i have items in my refridgerator.
/21/11/03
strangest thing ever ... ok so i'm on the toilet thinking about ways to not be sick anymore. somehow a random thought crosses my head and i wonder what ever happened to jonathan brandis? his career looked so promising [albeit for a brief minute]... so, i get off the toilet and randomly go on yahoo and the headline read that he commited suicide. being the 27 yr old that he is, it made me wonder about all those other super 27's ... jimi hendrix, janis joplin, jeff buckley, jim morrison, and uhm...a certain kurt cobain ... so 27 is 'puff' the magic number to check out if you're a bonafide star. but jonathan wasn't a bonafide star...suppose he forgot to read the rules. oh well ... three years to go ... i better hurry up.
/18/11/03
several reasons to be in a jolly mood...
• moving is complete not 100% settled in...but 100% finished cleaning sh*t
• the new blog/journal is finished. it will be online at the end of the month.
• a moderately famous person saw my site. only reason i know it was him was because of some quick exchange on saturday. after doing some work for the [new] site i checked my statistics for traffic [which i do weekly] and saw that there was a MAC user that dialled in, specifically to an area that isn't visited. he knows who he is. (thanks for stopping by.)
• got rid of all the spyware on my computer. curiously enough, my computer works 100% more efficiently. ah what do you know...AOL is really good for something after all...
• forty acres and a mule.
will begin the final aspects of the tracks for the ashbury album later this week. then it's off to vocals and then mastering. still comparing prices, but there's a short list of potentials.
/14/11/03
not that this means much to you but...
to ammend my 03/11/03 post, there are 20 recorded tracks for the album, not 19 as previously stated. for those that have not been paying attention, the title of the 20th track is 'lillian the autistic'. sorry about the foul up. carry on...
prorated rent for residence #1: $468. prorated rent for residence #2: $445. auto insurance: $155. auto payment: $225. dentist procedure: $168. brakes: $103. cell phone bill (2 phones + int'l charges): $238. internet + web hosting fees: $50. having everything due the same day and realising that there's still money left over after the check hits the bank: priceless. There are some things money can't buy. for everything else, there's good karma.
/12/11/03
on a day when i should have been getting a lot done, i didn't get anything done at all. woke up late, pissed around for a few jollies and never got errands that i needed done. nobody called but i had at least one interesting piece of email that i felt privy to responding to. that took a half hour. went back to the lodging place and did 'what i wanted to call cleaning up' which consisted of taking a pile of dirty jeans and moving them from one spot on the floor to the centre of the floor for the sake of the movers being able to get around the place. dah! and i still have to strike down the computers and get the new hub set up by early friday morning. plus all of the other clothes that haven't been moved yet. still don't know what to do with my europe pictures that hanged so valiantly on my walls before i came to california. *sigh ... i have no idea what to do since i've been going round the bend in circles quite a bit ... but ... i assure all of you concerned mongers that i shall be moved the hell out of the old place with it spick and span by monday as God as my witness ... hand on the bible, head up, left hand in the air ... it will get done ... damn ... duties to be done ...
send support group letters to simbarashe.
/11/11/03
i got all the information that i wanted to know. i got more information than i needed to know. i got more than i bargained for. so what do i do next? i take the letter i just read, and i put it away. then i tell you what's been going on these past few days. projectstation.org as you can see, is up and running. (if you've bookmarked this page, you should change the bookmark to projectstation.org/journal.html as i won't be mirroring this from tripod forever.) simbarashe has been steadily building all sorts of nice and nifty little things for the new site, notably, a new glossy flossy journal and a standard way to purchase ashbury records and my books. i'll also try to have a comprehensive section for all of my fellow collaborators, like the cuban pete. i'll also be uploading audio files and all that nice ooey gooey touchy stuff that internet droonies like to put the their mouses on. this week i'm moving to a new flat, condo, apt, house, whatever you want to call it. work on the album will resume next week. work on the website will be ongoing this week. work on the book is postponed until december. everyone take care.
/07/11/03
i can confidently, and without hesitation, say that i'm physically and emotionally drained. there's simply too much work to do, and too much to worry about. i do hope that i can find some relief soon. the friday friends are meeting tonight. i already promised everyone i'd go, but i'm frankly not feeling up to it. i don't want to disappoint though. it will probably also be the last time i see any of them for a few weeks. ...been communicating with old friends in portland...they'd like me to go and visit them, so that we may all party till we collapse. i'm interested in going, but i need to finish this business first. ...all i want to do right now is go home and crawl into my non-comfy bed and get some shut eye. perhaps i'll wake up all nice and energised.
/06/11/03
projectstation.org has been activated. but you can't see the goods yet. as far as a legit journal entry is concerned...well you don't get one today. sorry.
/05/11/03
since a few of you have been inquiring, the journal will indeed be moved over to a blog. this means that it will be completely intereactive (for those of you who aren't hip yet, you can reply to my entries or...the replies of other peoples' entries.) it also gives the unintinded consequence of linking together everyone that knows or reads about simbarashe. who the hell needs friendster when you've got simbarashe's journal? (...that's ok if you didn't laugh. i didn't either.)
phase one of the projectstation.org migration has begun (and no...you can't go dialing up that URL cos it won't work till i tell it to.) with phase one, i'll be configuring the new journal and moving over the archived entries. i'm also building the skeleton for the site map. more news on that as i have it available.
random thoughts: finding nemo sold 8 million units yesterday. think about that for a moment...8 MILLION DVDs or VHS copies. n'sync' only managed 2.1 million copies their first day out *cough...only 2.1 million* harry potters order of the phoenix sold 1.7 million. spiderman's DVD is the record holder with 12.7 million. i'm just wondering what life would be like if in one day i sold 8 million of something. ......is a date really a date if a girl agrees to the date with a guy but then brings along her best friend? (no i'm not talking about myself. stop laughing.) ....i'm at work right now. this girl that all the guys think of as hot is sitting here chatting with jerry. fraternisers.
simbarashe has been very depressed lately. can't you tell? you can't??? great! that's progress.
/04/11/03
12:40 am...some hours after i decided to put a block aside
god-fuckingdamnit ... i know what i'm going to do. (and yes, simbarashe needs jesus) ... i'm sorry to disappoint some, or me...but what must be done must be done. (cracks head on edge of desk-no, really...) ok. i know that if i give myself brain damage, i won't be frustrated about frustration. i just need to damage the right part of the brain. if i could just...stick a needle...right...there...
... ok i've made up my mind for real this time. i'll write you in the morning.
/03/11/03
onto work today:
1. considering moving the rest of this journal over to a blog. while i prefer html'ing everything manually, with a blog it would save me a lot of time with updating. plus, if i chose to, i could incorperate that little function that let's people reply to the nonsense i talk about. we will have to see. 2. some continued work on 'never who you really are', which is tentatively the last song that i'll prep before heading over to kavindra to record vocals. yes, this means that i am ... 70% finished with everything. while i am there, i will take the opportunity to re-record just a few basslines, but that's it people! i can only do so much! so at last count these are the songs i have recorded (in alphabetical order):
11th grade chess
'A' mute arrangement (aka aaron's song)
agoraphobic
always a quitter
drag
for the last time
freak
frontier
he who matches souls
i feel fine
julia *beatles cover
lost cause (aka san francisco)
never learned
never who you really are
sandia
small town
superhero
the HEIGHTS
the saxaphone
so that's 19 songs that i got to wittle down to, oh...12 or 13. of all of the lists i keep composing, only two songs are on every one. so that must mean there are only 2 songs that i'm 100% sure of. i'm sure though, that everything will sort itself once the real vocals are put on it. and finally...3. i think that any songs that don't make the record, i may put on the new website for you all to listen to. that sounds mighty nice of me, right? yeah, pah! we'll see. no work update for the books yet, i'll save that for later on in the week. now i'm off, i got to go run an errand for my father.
i think i might link the lyrics to these song titles. let's see how i feel today...
/02/11/03
hope you have a soda
it's november. somehow i feel as thought i should begin my start of the month journals with some 'moment of reflection' type shite that makes everyone look deep within themselves and go "hmmmm..." because that's what i've done. i'll spare production updaes aside for a day (because there haven't been any) and just get on with the shite that i know you're all foaming at the mouths to read: hey, i wonder if he's got a new train wreck analogy .... well...not quite. but i'd spent the past two days thinking about that old saying - you cannot judge a book by it's cover - and i was thinking if perhaps, that's an untrue saying? like, if i pick up a book and the cover says kama sutra then i know what the book is going to be about. if the book says websters then i know what it's going to be about. if there's some noir type femme weilding machine guns in magnificent ink-type fashion, i have a pretty good idea what it's going to be about. even if the cover has absolutely nothing on it...i can tell by the condition of the cover a lot about the book. i know if it's been used. i know if it's been abused. hell, i can even tell if the distributer put any care into it-if it's one of a kind or part of a dime a dozen. how's that for your fucking analogy? ok ok, so perhaps i'm feeling a bit antagonistic...everyone's allowed, every now and then.
but the reason i bring this forth is because, well we all know that simbarashe likes to judge books. i'm sorry, it's my sim nature to do so. i can't say that i'm not superficial, cos i am. i can't say that i'm patient with stupid people, cos i'm not. i can't say that being taken advantage of by someone i trust doesn't hurt, cos it does. i like to make 1st impressions with people i meet. i like to make second and third impressions, too. i write-these are things that i'm wired to do. but i've got this problem right now-and honestly-i haven't been well for a while-where i really feel out of balance with something that i can't really articulate. i know exactly what it is, but either i don't know how to put it into words or i'm too chicken. which brings me to the paradox of it all-this is my journal. i should be able to put whatever the hell i want on here. but i don't. in part because (yawn) i'm too private and in part because (gasp!) i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. simbarashe can be rather brutal. but i want to be reasonable. and there's my dillema. it's funny how a few close people think that i'm a patient individual. but i rub a lot of other people the wrong way. i'd go so far as to guess (correctly) that of most of my friends, i've probably rubbed 80% of them the wrong way inadvertantly before we became friends. so if i'm rubbing everyone the wrong way, it probably isn't everyone else's fault...so i'll circle this back to those books...
if i can correctly judge 80% of the books that i come in contact with...when the next book comes along it's then a good guess that i'll be correct about my judgement of that one, too. i think it's just me, but i'm cramming the numbers. what i hate though, is when i judge a book, then read it, only to find out that i was right. <--did that sound strange? if i broke it down any more some people might try reading between the lines, and we wouldn't want that. i have a book, and i'm to read it. i got the feeling i know what it's all about already.